I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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