That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
