Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
