Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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