i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ugly people sure do ruin things
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
