Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
