last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
