i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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