What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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