U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
