Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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