You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
