I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
