I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
