Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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