Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
