this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize