So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
