i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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