wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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