I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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