I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk if I want to put a bra on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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