Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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