Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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