dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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