just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
