weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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