I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
