her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
