I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
