He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
