I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize