mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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