we're blogging at a bar
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
