They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
