fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize