I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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