I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
