she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
