Do you still have your period?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
