is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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