Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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