If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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