know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
