I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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