As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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