I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
