I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
