i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
