i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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