Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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