I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
