Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hippo gnu deer
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize