I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
