**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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