he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
