from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
