At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
