hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
