I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
