i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
