am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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